he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize