I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i came on her dog
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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