Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The adults are the big ones right?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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