i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
