Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
