If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
