Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
