I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
40s are totally the cure
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
