Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
