When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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