Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize