I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the condom got lost in my hair
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
