i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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