Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
