i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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