it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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