fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
