but the lizard people decide everything anyway
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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