College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
