Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Randomize
