Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm at about main and main street
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
