i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I think my moral compass just broke
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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