And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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