she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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