I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
