I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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