I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
