also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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