I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the condom got lost in my hair
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
