I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
