I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Randomize
