oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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