her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
