She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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