This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
