Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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