It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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