before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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