I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
