So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Even the bartender felt bad for me
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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