If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
