I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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