it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
