Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
