There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
