The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
