and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
