Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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