so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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