I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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