If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
The ass gains better be worth it
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