Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
