She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
