I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
