He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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