i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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