i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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