I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
