yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
