yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
