Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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