Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
