And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
